About Me

While we are in one of the worst U.S. recessions ever and people are doing nearly anything to keep employment.

I elected to quit my job, without a new one to go to. I am figuring it out on my own, as my own employer. I have always loved to write, so I decided it was time to become a writer.

Because life is about more than just money?

It is time for me to do what it is I truly love to do.

Happiness Awaits

Happiness

On today of all days, I cannot express how much I appreciate the quality of life that I have.  Four years ago today, my father died of colon cancer. When my dad died, I was a mess.  It hurt and I was so scared that the pain would never go away.  I was worried I would feel that anger, anxiousness and pain for the rest of my life.

Time is an amazing thing.  It truly does heal all wounds.  I do not miss my father even an ounce less today as the day he died, but I simply do not hurt like I did four years ago.  I have moved on and I have a completely separate life from the one where I was Daddy’s Girl.  Sure, I have a tough time at weddings during the Father-Bride dance and I don’t adore Father’s Day, but otherwise, life is good.

I knew I would be okay, I just had to get to okay.  But I didn’t know how my mother would handle the death of her soul mate.  She had a tough go at it for awhile but she was a fighter and never wanted to appear weak or broken.  This may have been one of the biggest faults that she had during that time, but it was her fighting mechanism and it was the way she got through the pain.  Today, she is a perfectly normal, adjusted 60 something year old.  I don’t even think people would use the word widow to describe her because she has become so independent and self-reliant (for the most part) that you wouldn’t think to use widow, which has some connotation of reliance and weakness.

I have had people tell me numerous times that I should write a book about losing a parent, because it is scary for everyone and a situation that most of us will go through during our lifetime. While it is scary, terrifying and overwhelming, it isn’t the end of the world. Your life will go on, albeit without one person, but you will still achieve the successes and happiness and failures that you would have had with or without that parent. When he died, I wasn’t sure of all these things, but I am living proof that life does continue on with all the highs and lows.

This weekend, I invited my mother to go to Paris with me for about a week at the beginning of July.  Sans Justin, just the two of us girls.  My mother has never been to Paris and visiting the Louvre has always been one of her life’s dreams. While I’m sure she would do anything to have my father back, this trip is one that I do not think would have occurred if he had not passed away for a host of unconnected reasons.  I guess things work out for her too in ways she never would have understood or expected four years ago today.

Everyone misses my dad, from my family to our close family friends, who equally adored him.  He was gregarious, intelligent and kind.  And I am still very proud to be called his daughter.

To Smile.

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Helping Out Someone in Need

Driving Ms. Daisy
Image by CodyR via Flickr

Yesterday, I took my 91 and 1/2 year old friend to physical therapy.  Sounds great, right?

In the morning, I was dreading it.

Driving over to her house, I was damning myself a bit for agreeing to take her.

Immediately after walking into her house, I was so content and happy with my decision.  Just hearing her voice and how she was so happy when she heard “Fitz” was coming to get her, maybe me light up inside.

I genuinely adore my conversations with this woman.  She told me she owned her first car in 1952, after the war and after her husband finished law school.  She said it was a gorgeous Florida ocean blue and that it was an incredible car.  I felt like I was driving Ms. Daisy.

She also told me a story about how a neighbor had built a naughty snowman during the blizzard and she thought it was humorous and couldn’t understand why people made him take it down.

I can say with absolute certainty that there was nothing else in my day that would have been better than the two hours I spent with her.  Sure, I dreaded it.  I definitely didn’t want to go volunteer, despite knowing how much I was helping someone else.  I felt I didn’t have the time in my schedule today to squeeze something like this out and I was worried that I would be absolutely exhausted with tutoring until 9PM.

I guess helping out others is a lot like going to the gym when you don’t want to.  You often dread it and try to talk yourself out of it, but once you are there and in the action, you are very pleased with your decision.

So yesterday’s daily task towards happiness: Helping out someone in need.  Success: Definitely!

To Smile.

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Daily Activity Towards Happiness

I’ve been thinking my blog needs a bit more focus.  Sure, I talk about my day and how happy my life is for me right now, but that seems pretty boring.  This blog is about happiness and the on-going search for it.  While tutoring and writing bring me happiness, I believe that to obtain and maintain any sort of happiness that you need to keep yourself challenged.  Trying new things, stepping out of the box, whatever.  I think that happiness is an continuous journey that one cannot get lazy in–much like marriage or any other relationship.

At first I thought that I would come up with a 365 day list.  It would be something to do every single day that may help benefit or motivate this journey.  Then I realized that a 365 day list is a bit too daunting, so why not start with a list of 50 daily things that help achieve happiness.

So below is a list of ~20 different task.  Some are silly, some are focused on helping others, some take 5 minutes, some take longer.  But here is where I need your help.  Email me (or post a comment below) with 2 suggestions you have about daily task that have to do with happiness.  It can be anything!

1. Color a picture

2. Dance around like a child

3. Bake cookies for a friend

4. Pay for someone’s check

5. Read a child a book

6. Go for a walk with a camera

7. Visit a museum

8. Take a bubble bath with only candles and music

9. Be nice to someone who is short or rude to you

10. Write a piece of poetry

11. Do a small craft project

12. Leave a bigger tip than normal

13. Work outside

14. Watch a classic black and white movie

15. Read the bible every day for a week

16. Avoid texting, facebook or twitter for a day.

17. Write someone a note or letter

18. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers

19. Learn to rock climb

20. Have an at-home spa pampering session

21. Do my husband chores for him

There you have it!  Once again–email me (fitzalan80 at gmail.com) or comment below with your ideas about something different to do everyday that brings you happiness.  Remember, I’m trying to get his list to 50 and I need your help!

To Smile.

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