Happiness Awaits

Pat on the Back

: Image by kevindooley via Flickr

I didn’t know what to write about today. I looked back on yesterday and felt blue and a bit down about my lack of accomplishments. I basically worked and that seemed to be all. I felt like I hadn’t done anything to enjoy my day or to break out of the mold. But then I realized that days like this will happen. The most important thing, is to find something buried in all those mundane activities that you can feel proud of.

So what can I pat myself on the back for yesterday?

This took a lot of thought. On the surface, I wrote, then after a break, I tutored from 3-9. And that was my day.

But I did do more than that. Sure, I wasn’t saving the world or donating money to the needy, but no one can aim to make every day that accomplished. It would be a failure waiting to happen. So with some thought, here are the things that I did yesterday that I am proud of:

Researched hotels for the first week of my France trip when I am in Paris with my mother. This actually isn’t an easy task. We are aiming to use some timeshare points, if at all possible, so the hotel selection is a bit limited. Then I have to try and juggle amenities with location and try to come up with a formula that will help produce the trip of a lifetime. Not easy but doing the work now will hopefully help lead to a stress-free and enjoyable trip.

I ate lunch outside. Sure this seems basic. It is basic. But I was glad that I stepped away from the computer, didn’t turn on the TV and went and enjoyed the sunshine and warmth. I read a magazine and ate an absolutely wonderful peach. It was an ideal midday break.

I made the decision to take a break in the middle of my morning writing and watch (on a terrible Internet quality feed) the 2nd Stage of Paris-Nice. I submitted a brief summary article of the stage to Team RadioShack. I am always excited to write professional cycling articles. It is something that I truly love and it doesn’t feel like work in the least bit. It is a way for me to get back to my love of writing that isn’t based on income.

I went for a 15 minute walk before tutoring. It was one of those perfect walks where you feel the sun beating on your skin and warming you in a way that only happens after a long winter. I wanted to bask in the sun. It reminded me of being a kid and having a teacher take the class outside for a little while during one of those first warm days of Spring. It felt so basic, innocent and simple. I’m happy I took the time to allow myself to enjoy the warmth.

Sure, all these things may appear basic, but in hindsight, they helped make yesterday a pretty good day. So, even on mediocre days or downright awful days, step back and think of the things that you can pat yourself on the back for. They could be as simple as doing a chore that you didn’t want to, like loading the dishwasher or picking up the dry-cleaning. It is something that makes you take a deep breath and relax a little bit after it is completed because it some how added value to your day.

To Smile.

Happiness

On today of all days, I cannot express how much I appreciate the quality of life that I have. Four years ago today, my father died of colon cancer. When my dad died, I was a mess. It hurt and I was so scared that the pain would never go away. I was worried I would feel that anger, anxiousness and pain for the rest of my life.

Time is an amazing thing. It truly does heal all wounds. I do not miss my father even an ounce less today as the day he died, but I simply do not hurt like I did four years ago. I have moved on and I have a completely separate life from the one where I was Daddy’s Girl. Sure, I have a tough time at weddings during the Father-Bride dance and I don’t adore Father’s Day, but otherwise, life is good.

I knew I would be okay, I just had to get to okay. But I didn’t know how my mother would handle the death of her soul mate. She had a tough go at it for awhile but she was a fighter and never wanted to appear weak or broken. This may have been one of the biggest faults that she had during that time, but it was her fighting mechanism and it was the way she got through the pain. Today, she is a perfectly normal, adjusted 60 something year old. I don’t even think people would use the word widow to describe her because she has become so independent and self-reliant (for the most part) that you wouldn’t think to use widow, which has some connotation of reliance and weakness.

I have had people tell me numerous times that I should write a book about losing a parent, because it is scary for everyone and a situation that most of us will go through during our lifetime. While it is scary, terrifying and overwhelming, it isn’t the end of the world. Your life will go on, albeit without one person, but you will still achieve the successes and happiness and failures that you would have had with or without that parent. When he died, I wasn’t sure of all these things, but I am living proof that life does continue on with all the highs and lows.

This weekend, I invited my mother to go to Paris with me for about a week at the beginning of July. Sans Justin, just the two of us girls. My mother has never been to Paris and visiting the Louvre has always been one of her life’s dreams. While I’m sure she would do anything to have my father back, this trip is one that I do not think would have occurred if he had not passed away for a host of unconnected reasons. I guess things work out for her too in ways she never would have understood or expected four years ago today.

Everyone misses my dad, from my family to our close family friends, who equally adored him. He was gregarious, intelligent and kind. And I am still very proud to be called his daughter.

To Smile.

Helping Out Someone in Need

: Image by CodyR via Flickr

Yesterday, I took my 91 and 1/2 year old friend to physical therapy. Sounds great, right?

In the morning, I was dreading it.

Driving over to her house, I was damning myself a bit for agreeing to take her.

Immediately after walking into her house, I was so content and happy with my decision. Just hearing her voice and how she was so happy when she heard “Fitz” was coming to get her, maybe me light up inside.

I genuinely adore my conversations with this woman. She told me she owned her first car in 1952, after the war and after her husband finished law school. She said it was a gorgeous Florida ocean blue and that it was an incredible car. I felt like I was driving Ms. Daisy.

She also told me a story about how a neighbor had built a naughty snowman during the blizzard and she thought it was humorous and couldn’t understand why people made him take it down.

I can say with absolute certainty that there was nothing else in my day that would have been better than the two hours I spent with her. Sure, I dreaded it. I definitely didn’t want to go volunteer, despite knowing how much I was helping someone else. I felt I didn’t have the time in my schedule today to squeeze something like this out and I was worried that I would be absolutely exhausted with tutoring until 9PM.

I guess helping out others is a lot like going to the gym when you don’t want to. You often dread it and try to talk yourself out of it, but once you are there and in the action, you are very pleased with your decision.

So yesterday’s daily task towards happiness: Helping out someone in need. Success: Definitely!

To Smile.

Happiness Awaits

About Me

Twitter: fitzalangorman

Pat on the Back

Happiness

Helping Out Someone in Need

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Archives