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Today is the first official day of unemployment. All the other days that I have been home, last week included, I have been paid by my former employer. But not anymore. It is just me, on my own time, earning my own way. It is terrifying. I woke up this morning with this overwhelming sense of anxiety. I was able to suppress it and ignore it all last week but there is no ignoring it now.
Remember when I had established my rules for my newly found lifestyle?
*Gym in the morning, shower and get dressed for the day
*Breakfast by 8:30AM
*TV off and move into the office no later than 9AM
*No unplanned snacking during the day
*Work during the day similar to what an office lifestyle is like, at least for the current time being. Search and apply for freelance writing jobs, prepare for tutoring or work on things for the wine shop.
I already managed to miss the first one! The alarm went off for the gym, and I turned to poor Justin and asked what he wanted to do. Justin is not a morning person and I definitely felt bad dragging him out of bed so early after so many days of sleeping in. In my head, I was visualize how exhausted he would be while working at the office and my little unemployed heart broke for him, so I told him we could skip the morning gym. He’ll go over lunch and I’ll go around 5pm. I did manage to shower and get dressed though! Breakfast was back to my routine of oats (so excited to get back on an eating schedule. I probably have 2-3 Thanksgiving week pounds to now shed) and I have 20 minutes until the TV gets turned off.
I would say so far, so good for the first day.
I plan to write for most of the day. Apply to freelance writing jobs and do some text I already have lined up. I have a file I need to get delivered to the wine shop that I want to get taken care of today. Can I make money, can I keep myself busy all day? Can I keep myself focused and not sidetracked into doing things around the house all day (clean, laundry, decorate for Christmas?)? These are all the questions running through my head today.
But as Justin reminded me this morning–this is what I have dreamed of. I am now living in that moment.
To Smile.
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Just found your site via Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. So awesome that you live in the DC area too and you’ll be attending the book tour. I’m lovin’ what you’re doing here on your site — especially this post. Live in the moment!
I think it’s okay if you don’t follow your schedule to a T! I wonder if your most interesting days will be a result of not following a schedule?
Sometimes, I like routine b/c I know what to expect and it’s easier to be present… lately, I’ve just been feeling like I’m floating along and letting everything pass me by! I guess we all have a case of the holidays.
Hope you had a great first day off. Can’t wait to see where this new journey brings you.