- Image by santacrewsgirl{the original} via Flickr
Melancholy is something that I have experienced my entire life. For years, I have tried to fight it, thinking there was something wrong with me for having this feeling. In recent years, I have learned to accept this feeling and just allow for it to be part of my day. In my mind, the concept of feeling happy must have an opposing feeling, which I take to be melancholy. I do not believe that I can truly experience happiness without experiencing sadness.
I used to try and mask this feeling of melancholy because I feel that our society truly does not allow or recognize this concept. People are not supposed to be inexplicably sad or down, or at least that was the impression that I have gotten. Slowly, I have decided to ignore this notion and to just accept the days where I am just a little bluer than others. And I have learned that there is never any reason behind this sadness, anymore than those days where I am inexplicably upbeat and happy. It is just part of the ebb and flow of my life.
I do have to admit that I appreciate being able to work from home when these feelings hit. I do not have to hide this feeling, instead I can accept it and just live in it for the day. I accept that these days may be a little less productive than others because my energy level is not as high as it could be. I also know that doing little things, those nagging chores, during these days can help immensely. For instance, I ironed this morning and put away all my freshly folded laundry. Seems minor, yes? Well, I didn’t want to do any of it, but I told myself it would only take a few minutes. After I was done, I felt a sense of pride for doing a little more than I wanted to do today. It was a little sense of accomplishment on an otherwise cloudy day.
I think this is an important part of also appreciating and enjoying happiness, which is accepting and allowing myself to have these days. I do not fight or overcompensate. I also do not let myself dwell on these days. I used to get upset or annoyed with myself on days like this, because I did not feel I had any reason to feel this way: Life is good. Yet, the days still would come occasionally. Now I just know it is part of who I am and I allow these days to just be part of my life.
To Smile.
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=2bbfa9dc-d197-4df0-9398-c4d22f75a35b)
You’re fantastic.
-a.
I am definitely the same way. For years, and even still at times today, I really get down on myself for being this way. I want SO badly to be one of those eternally optimistic, happy people 100% of the time. I’m starting to understand and realize that it is okay I am not that way. Sometimes when I can accept that it’s okay I’m down for whatever reason, I can move on more quickly than when I get frustrated with myself.
-a.
[...] and life right now. I always try to focus on the things that make me happy, but as with my post earlier this week, I think there does need to be attention paid to the days where you aren’t at your [...]
I was listening to an NPR report yesterday on how our cultural identity shapes our concept of mental illness. (here is the book on it: http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Like-Us-Globalization-American/dp/141658708X) Other cultures think of melancholy as a very necessary part of life, and they do not recognize depression as an “illness” the way we do. Our modern concept of sadness, I agree, does not permit for the expression of melancholy in an acceptable way. I say: its good to feel deeply, even if the deep feeling is sadness. Especially as a writer, acknowledging the complicated way our emotions respond to our environment can help us better understand others. I cry all the time, I allow myself to wallow over thoughts of injustice in the world, and I soak in the bathtub with Johnny Cash playing on my laptop. You just gotta be sad sometimes!
-a.