Reflection

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There are days where I have to remind myself how I got here.  That this was a choice.  I am often overwhelmed and amazed by the choice I made and encouraged by the successes that I am already seeing.  My writing career continues to flourish, which makes me so happy.  The notion that I can truly make it is a writer seems so amazing to me and fills me with such pride.

When I read things online about becoming a freelance writer, it is surprising how hard many articles state this career choice is.  There are many articles stating it is nearly impossible to succeed and earn an actual living doing this.  I think in a situation like this, I was very lucky to be naive.  I never considered failing or that this would be impossible.  Sure, I’m still very new at what I am doing but so far it has been a wonderful experience.  If I had ready all these articles telling me I would surely fail, then I wonder if I would have entered this new career path with such a vengence.  Not knowing that failure is a possibility definitely makes successes a lot easier.  I simply put my head down, continue to work hard, and remain confident that this will all work out.  Sure, there are bad days but I haven’t once allowed that to make me waver in my dedication.  Having a one track mind when it comes to starting a new career appears to work quite well.

Today, I spend about 4 hours watching a little 2 year old boy.  Doing the on-call nannying thing definitely has its benefits, one of them being the added income.  But what makes me chuckle is that I have learned that I would much rather spend my afternoon making alphabet letters out of playdoh than sitting in a conference room having a meeting or stuck behind a computer feeling overwhelmed.  I don’t know exactly what this says about me.

I have had one person say that it shows I just can’t make it in the real, professional world and that obviously I cracked under the pressure.  I took offense to that comment because I know I did very well at my job, it was not about cracking when I decided to leave.  Despite the fact I was good at it, I wasn’t happy doing it.  Now, I do have to admit that I find a bit of humor in the fact that I am much happier reading books all afternoon on a couch or playing with legos than I ever was in my official career.  I took so many classes, spent a lot of money on an education, all to come and find out that the cutthroat business world wasn’t for me.  Too bad they don’t teach these things when you are in your freshman year!  I definitely do not regret any single piece of my education, especially not graduate school, because I know that it gave me the tools to succeed as a writer.  I think I just wish I would have known what would make me happier a little earlier in life than wasting a lot of time, money and effort on a political science degree that I do not see myself potentially ever using. I’m sure I could have gotten a better degree, such as English/writing or childhood development , that would have prepared myself for this career path more.  Also, maybe if I had obtained either of those degrees, I wouldn’t have spent years floundering at jobs I was unhappy in.

At least I figured it out, while I’m still young.  And if I never had had those other jobs, I never would have realized how good I have it now.

To Smile.